Sunday, February 3, 2013

Coping With A Sexless Relationship

Are you in a marriage or relationship without sex? The following article shows what will help and what will not.

It is difficult to share a life with someone when there is no intimacy or sexual encounters and going with out sex can be extremely frustrating and can cause much tension and problems in other areas of the marriage. A lack of sex and/or physical affection or intimacy can cause problems that go much deeper.

If this is what is happening in your relationship or marriage then there are some useful tips that you may want to try to resolve the situation and help bring back the emotional closeness between you and your partner. Chances are if the two of you are on the same level emotionally then the sexual fire will start burning bright in your lives once again. Unless you and your spouse have fallen out of love with each other, then there is no reason why this problem can not be solved.

The following ideas are things you can do that will help with your marriage:

  • Living each day as it happens and making the most of each day is important. You and your partner must try to get back to the happy place in your marriage. Focusing on the good in each other and learning to appreciate what you love about each other will help to bring you closer and in turn will hopefully lead to closeness in the bedroom.
  • Stay as positive as possible. Keep an optimistic attitude to your marriage. Fixing problems in your relationship will not happen if you focus on the negative. Becoming depressed and giving up will not help.
  • Keep the lines of communication open. Try to energize your relationship by doing things together that you did in the beginning, like a date night once a week. Sex will come to a halt in relationships because things have gotten stale. Try to do things together and hopefully this will automatically revert to the bedroom.

As with any relationship problem there are many things that will not help the situation. Try and avoid doing the following things as this will make the problem between you so much worse:

  • Do not mock your spouse’s lack of sexual interest. It is quite okay to discuss these differences calmly and respectfully but it is never okay to make a mockery of how they feel. Trying to make your spouse feel bad will push you further apart and your sex life will become a distant memory. It is also a wise idea to stop discussing the problem if one or both of you become upset during the discussion.
  • Blaming your spouse is ridiculous. And yet this is what normally happens in a relationship where there is no sex. Don’t go down this road; it is pointless, this is no ones fault. Differing sex drives are a fact of life in most relationships. Limited sexual activity is more common than most people realise. Blaming each other will only cause more arguments and the gap between you will grow wider.
  • Do not allow the sexual problem take over your relationship. It is very important that you keep this issue separate and not allow it to affect everything else. Focusing on the good in your marriage is what will get you through the bad times. You need to embrace the positives; or you will soon find you are fighting about everything. And when this happens, you will never fix your sexless relationship, because you will both be so unhappy that sex is probably the last thing on your minds.

If the sexual activity in your marriage has dried up then you cannot lose hope. It is up to both of you to work on the problem while keeping in mind that you love and care for each other. If you work together with a positive attitude and with your partner’s best interests in mind it will happen. Your spouse is most likely just as distressed about this issue as you may be and if you love each other then you can do it.

Copyright © 2013 Janelle Coulton

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